The 700 Club on a Certain Fantasy Role-Playing Game That Shall Not Be Named: ‘Only Blood Will Satisfy the Dragon’ (1993)

You may have seen this one before. I can’t resist making some comments:

  1. Can I hire that 13th century DM and his gnarly DM’s Tome™ for parties? “There’s only one way to save yourself, and that way is blood.” Cool. Everybody put your keys in the jar and pass the knife!
  2. How exactly do those dice work? Are the numbers coordinates? And why the hell does he roll again when the treasure and “power beyond imagination” are right in front of him?
  3. I’d like to be one of the shadowy figures who removes a player (or places a menacing hand on the player’s shoulder) once that player is “no more.” Do I have to apply? I bet there’s a psych test.
  4. What the hell do the kid and his dog have to do with anything? And who are they looking up at in the woods? Is Satan wearing Levi’s? Whoever it is, he’s like 20 feet tall.

The complete 700 Club episode the clip belongs to is here. Both videos are via LadySorrowIshana/YouTube.

9 Responses to “<em>The 700 Club</em> on a Certain Fantasy Role-Playing Game That Shall Not Be Named: ‘Only Blood Will Satisfy the Dragon’ (1993)”


  1. 1 His friend J October 29, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Wait, does he kill that kid or does that kid find his dead body? What happened?

    • 2 2W2N October 29, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      That’s what I’m saying. I don’t get it. You can see the little kid walk up to somebody standing in jeans, and then he looks way up, like into a tree or something.

  2. 3 Brian Williams October 30, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    “I am now lord of the little people!” -Things you say right before you become the bride of the dark one.

    • 4 2W2N October 30, 2013 at 2:42 pm

      Right. I mean, shouldn’t you aim higher if you’re selling your soul to Satan? Lord of all creation, maybe? Any fool can be lord of little people.

  3. 5 Jason October 31, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I thought the little kid was looking up at a body hanging from the tree. Presumably the sacrifice of blood – either the player killed himself or one of the “little people.” Y’know, so he wouldn’t lose.


  1. 1 TV Guide Ads for TV Movies: Mazes and Monsters (1982) | 2 Warps to Neptune Trackback on January 30, 2014 at 3:38 pm

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