True: Skatetown U.S.A. was Swayze’s film debut. He played Ace, the bad boy.
- See Ace chuck his gum at the crowd before he starts his routine. Ace is pissed! Ace is a bad boy!
- See Ace remove his tiny belt and whip it around in a frenzy of bad boy rage! Ace will cut you, man (with roller disco choreography)!
- See Ace move very slowly around the rink for what seems like an eternity, rubbing his belt on himself, trying to look tough while doing pirouettes on skates, and so on.
- Suddenly, Ace drops the belt and pulls off some disco moves I recognize from Saturday Night Fever. Ace picks up speed, hops onto the Skatetown U.S.A. stage, hurls himself off in slow motion, picks up the belt again, and finishes his bad boy routine with a Zorro-esque flourish! Breathe, people. Breathe.
Need more Patrick Swayze on roller skates? Here he is (red suspenders) in a 1981 A&W Root Beer commercial.
2 Warps to Neptune 
Where to start? I can only assume that Xanadu rode the wave of roller skating movies that this so obviously started. Was his routine choreographed by an 8 year old or did they realize they had limited roller skating potential to work with and made him seem like a male stripper for most of it? And one who is apparently into S&M given the leather and belt. Also, i feel like the jump from Dirty Dancing was so clearly ripped off from this movie after watching that routine.
Starlight Express! Starlight Express! Starlight Express! Starlight Express! Starlight Express! Starlight Express! Starlight Express! …