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The Disadvantages of Long Cigarettes

Published November 7, 2012 Ads 1 Comment

I don’t get it. The bear wants to smoke the cigarette? Because the cigarette is long? (Click to enlarge.)

Boys’ Life D&D Ad (1981)

Published October 11, 2012 Ads , D&D Leave a Comment

“Don’t look at it’s eyes or you’ll sleep forever” should be an internet meme. Or rather, because I’m a grammar asshole, “Don’t look at it’s [sic] eyes or you’ll sleep forever.”

All Denim, All the Time: Jordache Ad (1987)

Published May 23, 2012 '80s Decor/Design/Fashion , Ads 3 Comments

I wore plenty of embarrassing shit in the ’80s, but I never owned a jean jacket, not even after Mikey sported one in The Goonies. They were lame then. They’re lame now.

In the hierarchy of lame in the denim world, there are only three things higher (i.e. lamer) than jean jackets on men. First, acid wash of any kind. Second, anything Jordache. And third, acid wash Jordache on top and bottom combined with an unbuttoned Jordache shirt and faux dogtags. I’m sorry if you wore any or all of these things and thought you looked cool. You were lame.

Yes, I know, the current skinny jeans fad is also lame. All of these kids are going to be mortified in 15 or 20 years when they see how stupid they looked. And they take something like 800 pictures of themselves a day, so it’ll be even worse.

My point is that nothing denim-related today is as lame as the jackasses who walked around decked out like the guy in this photo. And they were everywhere, my friends. They listened to KIIS-FM. They ran over our skateboards with their red sportscars. They voted for Reagan.

(Image via SlantedEnchanted’s Flickr)